Regular Sex Strengthens Your Relationship
Room-mates or acting like buddies is not how you expected your passionate relationship to end. Passion needs to be built and staying in love takes many moments of connection, dedication and commitment. Connect when you're not together even when things are not good between you. Wendy Rose Gould says, maintenance sex may help strengthen your relationship. Making love less frequently is expected (and normal) in long term relationships but you don't want to become complacent. Consider scheduling some time to focus on building intimacy and find greater connection and closeness.
Falling in love and early days in your relationship has moments of lusty, delicious sex that seems on-tap. You may wonder why years later in your now stable relationship, your plate is now empty. Where has the love gone? Loneliness has crept in, and perhaps rejection and resentment too so nowadays the bedroom is just a place to sleep.
Don't neglect Physical Intimacy...
Wendy Rose Gould writes "your relationship isn’t going to fail just because the sexual aspect isn’t as robust as it was many years (and perhaps several kids) ago. However, operating on autopilot without making a concerted effort to nurture physical intimacy can lead to decreased fulfillment, which is never good."
Often our sex drives are not in sync and one person may want it when the other could take it or leave it. Sexual desire—getting in the mood sometimes takes effort and that's where maintenance sex is healthy and increases intimacy.
Sometimes there's a lot of embarrassment, fear and shame around talking about our sexual needs and desires. Learning a new language and working with a therapist can help us overcome some of this fear.
John Gottman's research-based therapy says loss of connection can be a big contributor to relationship breakdown. Turning toward each other instead of screens will help you feel more connected and increase relationship satisfaction.
Expressing affection and validating emotions will also increase intimacy and build a bridge to closeness. And "emotional attraction is just as important as physical attraction in having great sex", says Lisitsa, Gottman Institute. Show genuine interest in each other.
Introduce new stimuli by trying new things out such as toys, lingerie, positions and places. Don't be afraid to discuss your desires.
Keep tech out of the bedroom. Keeping your bedroom a tech-free zone will allow love and harmony to grow again. Use an actual alarm clock instead of your mobile phone to avoid distractions.
Gary Chapman says to discover your partner's love language by taking this Quiz and learn how to better give and receive love.
Sensual Communication boosts your emotional intimacy and helps rekindle your passion says Terry Gaspard, from Gottman Institute. Focus on pleasure instead of orgasms to increase sensuality and connection. Love and passion are a gift.
Call Robin today to book an appointment to discuss your relationship issues and find harmony and connection again 0421 224 070
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